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3 Ways to Make Failure your Friend

I want to talk about something many of you don't - "failure". The word itself brings about feelings of defeat, emotional exhaustion, and inadequacy. Failure is defined as "a lack of success" or "the omission of expected or required action". I call bullsh!t. Failure is our friend. It is a gift in disguise. It give us an opportunity to change course on the journey of life.

As Bill Gates famously said "it's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons in failure". In my case, I've had a lot of success but my greatest learnings have come from my failures. Isn't that true for you too? What if you began to embrace, reward, and respect failure just as you do success. Can you imagine how different your life might be? Could you start today?

Here are three ways I learned to embrace failure.

1. CHANGE YOUR MIND. I don't believe "failure" is a lack of success. I believe "failure" is necessary for success. This simple mind shift has helped avoid hours of negative thought patterns that bring us down. Can you change your mind set about failure and accept failure as a friend?

2. DITCH THE TRASH TALK. I'm not much of a rules person but I do have one: please stop the trash talk. You don't deserve it. You are not a "failure"; you are learning and growing. You shouldn't have seen it coming; you are kind and take reasonable risks. You are not stupid; you are brave. You are not an idiot; you are brilliant. It is time to kick the trash talk to the curb. These untruths are holding you back from being even more awesome. To start, can you become more mindful of what you tell yourself?

3. LEARN FROM THE TRUTH. The truth will set you free and ummm yes, of course you can handle it! So what if you discover you are the world's biggest control freak or that you've got some serious issues delegating. How are you supposed to change if you don't have awareness of what might be holding you back? I've learned to reflect, not deflect, whenever failure strikes. What role did you play? How did you contribute? Are there behaviours or actions you want to sincerely change to be and feel happier? You got this!

So, if you want to grow, you gotta fail. Life isn't all about rainbows and butterflies (although they are pretty great right!). It's about living your life on purpose, helping others, and adding value everywhere you can. Once you change your mind about failure and start to embrace it, cool things will happen. Your mind will shift, your actions will become more positive, and your journey will propel you to beautiful places.

Consider this quote from Winston Churchill as you reflect on your journey of failures "success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm".

Your life is about to change and it all starts now!

About the author. Brenda is a Certified Professional Coach and Founder of My Happiness Coach. She inspires people to live the outrageously happy lives they deserve. You can subscribe to her blog, inquire about one on one coaching, join the online 28-day happiness program , or learn more about customized happiness workshops at

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